September 28, 2013

two stories about being shy

a young man I met this evening told me that he was shy as a child, but it took him some time to realize it.

once, on the crosstown bus to school, he and a group of friends were talking about baseball.  there was a lull in the conversation.

one of the boys turned to him and said, why aren't you asking any questions?

he didn't know how to answer.

a few years later, one of the popular kids left sleepaway camp for a few days to get minor dental surgery. when the boy came back, he said the surgery had deeply affected him.  he announced to the bunk that going forward he would be speaking more.

the young man acknowledged that the popular kid's announcement, he realized even at the time, was somewhat ridiculous.

thinking back, the young man said that the announcement and the question on the bus were important clues.  they taught him that conversation wasn't something that just happened, that people had a choice about how much or how little to talk.

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